Is it nap time?

So today I took my measurements and so far so good. I went down in all but my waist. Not sure why that is. But I will count it as an overall success so far. I am unable to weigh myself because we don't have a scale here. I am honestly not too worried about that because for me its not so much about the amount I weigh. I want to be healthier.

It would be nice to fit into a smaller size as well. I know I will never fit into single digit sizes. I am a Norweign girl. I will never be petite. And that is ok. When I was smaller (a size 12) I had people starting to worry about me because they thought I was too skinny. I actually had family ask me if I was still eating. I wouldn't mind getting back down to a 14.

That is the update for now. Not much going on here. I am applying to jobs. Regrettably, I have not heard back from any other jobs yet. All you can do is keep trying though. I am still waiting to hear back from the Public Defender position I interviewed for about 2 weeks ago. They said I should hear back in about two weeks so hopefully any day now.

Here are my recent measurements:

Bust: 51  (down 1 inches from 52)

Waist: 46 (up 1/2 inch....not sure why)

Hips: 53 (down 2 inches from 55)

Upper arms: 17 (down 1/4 inch from 17.25)

Calves: 18 (down 1/2 inch from 18.5)

Not sure why my waist measurement went up but the overall results are good I think. I will keep working out every other day and we will see how it goes next month when I measure again.

Here we go again

So my job interview went ok... I honestly don't feel like I ill be getting an offer. Nothing specifically went wrong. It's just a feeling I have. So I continue to paper the world with resumes and hold out hope it will lead to something soon.

My brother has been awesome and letting me stay with him rent free but I would like my own space again. I miss my apartment. I try not to focus on such things though. This is only temporary and soon I will be beginning the new chapter of my life. I will say I wish jobs were easier to get. All I can do is keep trying and things will work out. I have found that life always seems to shake out the way it's supposed to, whether that is how you planned it or not

While staying with my brother I have been helping his wife spring clean their home. So far we have been working on getting the kitchen all sparkley, not to mention have been reorganizing everything. I am happy to help and it has been keeping me busy. After such an intensive study schedule I find myself at a loss of what to do with so much free time. I have been working out every other day for 45 on the elliptical machine my brother has.

I honestly am not sure if working out has made much of a difference yet. That is ok though. I feel better for establishing a regular exercise schedule. Even if the working out has not made a difference in my weight yet I know it is building my endurance and my joints have been less stiff. Considering I was extremely stationary while studying for the bar any exercise right now is an improvement over the level I was getting. I will keep you posted how that progresses.

Tomorrow, I am going to go to the library. Sad but true, my experience with the bar exam is not yet through. No, I don't mean the wait for the results. I still need to complete the state law portion of the bar. Cause you know that 2 day test was just not enough torture. On the plus-side once I complete that I am done with everything but the waiting.

I hope everything is well in bloggy world. Talk to you tomorrow.

Just breathe

I feel like I am on the edge of something positive and big in my life. Tomorrow  I have an interview  at the Missouri State Public Defender’s Office tomorrow and I am really nervous.  

A dream of mine is coming to life. I knew that I would eventually get to this point, these were thoughts that I put out in the universe many years ago. I wanted to be an attorney. I worked hard, went to school for years, studied countless hours and took numerous exams. Hopefully soon I will be able to say that I am a public defender. It's insane. Truly crazy.

I know that public defender’s don’t make that much money but it’s a real job as an attorney. It will help me gain some real world experience. I did as many internships and externships as I could but that is no substitute for experience with a real job.

I feel like all of the days, months and years of hard work were leading up to this point.  I know that this is just the interview. I might not get the job but that I was called in for an interview is surreal. I have sent many resumes out into the world and have heard back from a sad few of them. Those I did hear from were rejection letters. Just having this interview makes me feel like I am on the right path and moving forward. I will keep you posted about the interview when I find out more.

Wish me luck :)

The bar in a nutshell

It's now been a couple of weeks since I took the Missouri Bar, and I figured I would follow Dr. Juris’ example and do blog entry about my reflections on the bar.

On Tuesday morning, I took the MPT. For those of you that don't know, this stands for "Multistate Performance Test," and it's essentially where the bar examiners give you a big library of information and tell you to write a brief on it. Twice. 90 minutes per essay. The first one was ok. It was about confrontation clause and evidentiary issues. I spent about 5 minutes too long on the first essay and had to force myself to stop and move on to the next. The second essay was about nuisance, and it required a ton of elements. I wish I hit all of them but I would be lying if I did.  I don’t think I scored very well on these but it’s hard to say since it’s curved.

On Tuesday afternoon, we did the MEE. This stands for "Multistate Essay Examination". There were six essays, and three hours total to figure it all out and write on it (which I think is freaking impossible, I always went over on the practice essays). Essay subjects covered this exam were a criminal law question (that I complete froze on), a wills question (which I did pretty well with…I think), a domestic relations question in which grandparents wanted custody, a secured transactions question that wasn't too terribly bad, and a civ pro question about a woman who hadn't reported sexual harassment in the workplace and whether a judge's decisions about the suit were appropriate. I forget what the sixth essay was. I think I was so traumatized I blocked it out.

I think the MEE is the shittiest portion. On the very first question my mind blanked out and I froze. Then commenced freaking out in my head, I honestly did not know what to write. So I wrote anything I could think, figuring that I might get lucky and get a point or two.  It was exhausting and I left the exam wanting to cry. I was convinced I had failed when I left on Tuesday. Luckily, I have some good friends that helped me rally after the first day.

 On Wednesday, I took the MBE (Multistate Bar Examination)--it's a 200 multiple choice exam divided up into two sessions. You have three hours to complete each of these sessions. I did not feel so horrible about this part. I did have to force myself to slow down. My problem is I tend to rush. I do not read a carefully as I should and I make stupid mistakes. I did my best to slowdown. I know they say do not go back over and change your answers but I am glad I did. I found two that I had not read carefully enough in the first go and I discovered this when I went back over the questions.

I will find out my scores on September 18. Now we are waiting…….

It's so hard to say goodbye...

I know this is off topic but one thing I will share with my readers the Thursday before the bar exam my uncle died in a tragic accident. That weighed heavily on my mind. Though I wanted to attend his service I was not able to due to the exam. I know that my uncle would have wanted to me to take the bar and in fact the whole family encouraged me rather than attend his funeral. A part of me can’t help but feel a little guilty that I was not there. Also I was not able to say goodbye. Though in recent years my uncle and I had not been close due to distance we were when I was younger. I will always remember feeling like a giant when he would give me piggy-back rides. (My uncle was 6'7").

I think I was in shock while I took the exam, which is probably for the best. Now it’s all over, it hit me today that my uncle is really gone. It’s always hard to lose someone close to you. This would be the third person who was close to me that has passed away since I started law school. My first year, a dear friend and basically a surrogate younger brother Mike died of leukemia and complications stemming from it. The second year of law school my grandmother died. The end of my third year, just before the bar, my uncle died. 

I would not be the person I am today or be where I am in life without the love and support of them. I feel very lucky to have had those people in my life and I am saddened that they are gone. You never know what will happen in life.  I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, though we might not always know why. I dedicate this blog to Mike, Grandma and Uncle Jim. Thank you for your love and support. I wish we could have had more time. I was not able to find a picture of Mike on my new laptop. (have not transferred the contents of my drive over from the last laptop). Here are pictures of Grandma and Uncle Jim.

This song is dedicated to Mike, Grandma and Uncle Jim. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T35WXFOmwI

 

Bar is over...

So the bar exam is over. For better or worse the die are cast. I wish I could say I feel like I did well. I would be lying if I did. But that is ok. Even if I failed it is not the end of the world. I will pick myself up dust myself off and take it again in February. (though I really hope I don't have to do that). Right now I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best. That way if I failed it won't be quite as much of a shock. (If I am being honest though I will probably cry). One thing I have learned in life is things don't work out exactly as you planned but that does not mean it is a bad thing.

The schedule studying for the bar was killing me. I was not able to keep up with it and blog too. Especially since I was home visiting. I felt bad I was not able to visit with my friends and family more while I was in town. I am not sure when I will be able to fly back again. I am hoping to have a real, grown-up job in the not too distant future. Jobs always complicate things. lol

On the plus-side, the bar is over. I am re-united with Pugsley. He was so excited when I got to my brother's house (where Pugsley has been staying while I was in Seattle). He jumped into my arms. That is quite a feat for a little pug. He would not let me out of his sight when I first got home. Now I am spending time with my brother's family, helping re-organize their house and apply for jobs. What I am not doing is thinking about how I will have to wait until September 18 to find out if I passed the bar.

Today, I worked out for 45 minutes. That is a lot considering how stationary I have been while studying for the bar. One plus to staying at my brother's house is he has an elliptical machine I can use. ultimately I would like to be able to run a 5k. Right now I am far too out of shape to be able to do that. So I am starting by trying to workout on the elliptical everyday until I get into a bit better shape, then will start running outside. I will have to run in the morning or at night. I just cant handle the triple digit heat.

After my workout I went to the local library to get a library card and checkout a book. When I was younger my step-dad would take my younger brother and I to the library every weekend. When we were really young it was to go to story time. As we got older, we continued the tradition as part of family time and he wanted to encourage us to read. Today was the first time in a long time that I have gone to the library just for fun. Since I restarted school in 2007 to get my bachelor's degree I have always gone to the library to study or work on some project I was assigned for a class. It was never to just enjoy the books. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed being at the library. (I know I am a total nerd. I am ok with that. :) ) I spent a few hours at the library looking through books and reading periodicals. It feels good to have a life again lol.